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You Scratch my Back and I Scratch Yours

August 24, 2011

You scratch my back and I will scratch yours. Well this saying is universal in many different languages all over the world. But different when it comes to friendship. You see when it comes to friendship helping out each other is mutual. No one is looking for anything in return or expecting something.

I have a friend who I call my acquaintance (recently). She is nice but never happy even when life is good for her she find the negative in it really fast. After hearing negative after negative and feeling drain I distance myself from her somewhat by writing occasional emails letting her know that I am thinking about her which is sincere true in fact. Before I drag this post on farther we went to dinner a few months ago and she said for her wedding she do not plan to hire a photographer. She will give her professional camera to her friend and ask her friend to take a few photos with it. Than she said, “We already know your going to bring yours so no need to hire anyone at all”. I explained I did not plan to bring my camera at all. I was planning to enjoy the celebration of their wedding camera free. She, her soon to be husband, and mines insisted since I take damn good photos. So I said okay sure really not liking to be push and not even asked at all but telling me. Not even close to a darn request!

The next day I told myself if I am going to do work at a so call friend wedding for free why not get something out of it such as being able to use a few of the photos as my own copyright for future work. I emailed her for her to tell me a few days later that she and her soon to be husband like to live a private life so no I can not use my portfolio to show others, but I can have it for myself. Please tell me why would I want tons of wedding photos of people I don’t know and so call friends that I want to run far away from in which I can’t use?

I was so pissed and a bit hurt. I would never tell a friend or acquaintance no you can not use any of the photos to advance your career or company. I would said sure no problem or if I was so private I would say why not if I can help pick which photos to be used. They are ordinary people. No one famous. Their name would not even be mention. They don’t have a large group of friends so no one really know them. So what is the big deal? I can understand if they are well known important people or I place up photos making a mockery out of them. But I would never. I do very tasteful work. So when it is time for the wedding this weekend I plan a surprise for them. To the hell with my portfolio, to the hell with the wedding, and ceremony!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. August 29, 2011 8:28 pm

    You have a touchy situation there. They expect you there, and you said you would be there and take the photos. I think you should go and take them and enjoy as much as you can. Use the photos as your gift to them. As you go over the photos with them ask again about using them in your portfolio and explain why. Point out which ones you would like to use. Hopefully it all works out for everyone.
    Another saying…don’t add fuel to the fire.

    • August 30, 2011 3:04 am

      HI Harold, the wedding was quite beautiful. I have organized a few photos already and working on a few to edit to stand out. I like your idea. I was actually thinking the same after I had calm down a bit. Once I give them the photo in a nice album I plan for them to soak it in than asked once again and hope they come in agreement and pick a few photos I can use publicly in my business portfolio.

      • August 30, 2011 10:33 am

        You might be raw emotional but you are rational too! I am glad you went and I hope it works for you too and that they are gracious to you.
        Another saying…one good turn deserves another

  2. August 31, 2011 8:55 am

    Thank you Carl you are a sweet heart and placed a smile on my face. I hope it works out to and if not I am going to not mutter over it and brush it off. Just the next time they have any events or we go the same places I will not share my photos with them. I normally share my photos with all my friends and family members since I normally take my camera with me waiting for a camera moment to happen. But I see what happen if nothing at least I know I tried and I was graceful with the attempt.

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